The Hunger Games

Last Sunday,my husband and I were watching The Hunger Games Movie at TMII 21 Cineplex, i was not that notice that the nearest cinema is already displaying the poster for the at least 5 days since i was intend to read the novel which i had it downloaded in my ebook. So i was suprisingly agree when he offer to watch the movie.

Can't  even close my eyes for blinking, its thrilling movie, now that i already finish the book, i know several reason why people like the book more than the movie. But i'm seeing the movie first before i read the book, and all i can say i'm not loosing any appetite on finish it. More than that at least my brain is already having a highlight , a tiny figure how the whole story would lead.

Overall the books is offering a complete emotions, its sad yet funny in some part, it romantic yet so mean, couldn't stop my self to read page by page in a quick pace. Its stunning.

Can't wait to read the second book Catching Fire.

My favorite quotes from the books.

I know this would be a minor review of the book, so sorry but i just couldn't help my self to drag my brain to continue to read the other two books. I think i would updating it after all with the book cover, the movie cover and the famous Mocking jay bir that Katniss use as a pin.

The cover of the books is like this, the bird in the circle and stab by the arrow is the Mocking Jay, which initially was a muttant bird, created by the Capitol to spying the people in the district so they can gather information to the capitol weather they want to do a rebellion. They  can sing beautifully and then repeat people humming..

The poster with Katniss holding an arrow,i mean how cool is that, very rare, women and the arrow, hahahaha and rare make u special. All i can say i couldnt expect someone else to play Katniss, Jennifer Lawrence is absolutely play very nice on Katniss character, my fave so far.

Well if i may rate this book in 5 star as the goodreads use to, then i will surely give the book a 5star, a must read book, not only  because its beautifully display the reality we face nowadays, but its somehow giving a raw emotions on anger, hope, sad, romantic, annoyed, all emotions in a book.

See you on the next pose guys, i'm reading the second book hahaha^_^

And Happy Hunger Games. May the odd be ever in your favor.

Bye.

Till the next post :D

I am Bored as DEad!

Super Bored
Need Vacation
I dont want to trade anymore
I dont want to have repetitive habbit anymore
I dont want to go to the office

Slightly in my minds now i'm
Playing white sands with the kids running on the beach
Having my long dress and dip my feet over the water
Having a great meal but then again walking alot and laughing alot and havingoutdoor activity alot so when it comes to the next meal im hungerenough and all the food i eat is tastes delicious
Not eating while i'm not hungry as i did usually did in my daily basis, just like now, i dont feel hungry but instead i said im famished because im too bored in this place so i need to find a reason to dragging my feet , for not rooting in the chair, for not glued in the desk , for not asking the cleaning service bought me some lunch, end up eating them in front of the PC , then after one hour i forgot either i had my lunch or not.

I'm supper boreddd!!Supperrrr!!

Happy B'day Rania Zeeza

Time is flies. Time is files. Time is gone high. Fast and i barely understood what happened..

Hahaha, i know  i know...i already put the title or almost close the same title regarding how fast time flies on the older post, but still it never failed to mezmerized me how could be time gone so fast, at least for me.

Rania is having her 4th birthday last Tuesday onMarch 27th, in the morning i just giving her a simple kiss on forehead and  manage to pulling Raisya from her slumber to give her sister a birthday kiss and a happy b'day song. But Rania is never be the morning person so she only open her eyelids-half lashes only, hissss  and grumble and start muttering that she doesnt want to wake up haha, oh my sweet baby kids. So i just kiss her forehead and again say that i love her and wishing a happy b'day and running for the office day since my husband is on Papua so i had to ride my motorcycle by my self.

After work, after picking up the motocycle from the parking lot near Tamini square ,as i afraid in the morning i forget to bought the cake in bread talk, issh no time again to pull over as in that packed corner, in the drizzling rain after hour its really a bad choice to pull over the motorcycle obly for buying  a cake, so i decide to heading home while wishing the pattiesary near home is still open.

Got the birthday cake and got the cake for my birthday girl. Love u honey. 

Too Much

Something is change within me. I lost my inner peace that's for sure, everyday is a torture.

I know it sounds dramatic, but this place is changing me, the situation is not condusive anymore around. One by one my colleague is leaving, more others is thinking about leaving, some others is having scholarship chasing higher degree.Not that leaving is easy its nightmare to propose relocate, many drama involve, i mean i know what i'm saying , believe me >,<.

Yesterday Ulong was crying at mushollah , couldn't bear anymore the pressure she had working in this place-working with his bos-, she's complaining that after doing her partner job which got sick and another partner whose enrolling to master , still her supervisor couldn't appreciate her more, instead giving her much more unrealistic reason why she's not remind him about many things (that on Ulong side suppose to be HIS own responsible to memorize). Bener2 gak masuk akal!

The week earlier on Friday things got bad also, i just knew it that the big boss is sending BBM to all DD that he more than upset and unhappy to see many staff  ' dianggap memanfaatkan surat tugas'. HAHA!! Bodoh sekaliiiii, asal tau saja, kami tidak ditugaskan untuk konsinyering ataupun sosialisasi akan sangat sangat senang. Memanfaatkan? Yang bener ajah!! orang tiap bisnis trip isinya pressure juga, Ngaco deh!!

Hufft...Deep breath deep breath.....

Capek ati deh gini terus huhuhu, pengen pindah pengen pindah . Allah, please show me the way, i just couldnt be like this for the rest of my life kan?

Lost the mood to continue,

Nanti deh ya aku nulis lagi

Not Brave enough

I was am on level 9 out of 10 anxiety now, i just don't feel connected anymore to this place, its killing to drag my feet every single morning to this place. I'm doomed, i'm too stress, i don't feel i'm belong to this place. There's no one in this place supporting me to rid this feeling since as long as i know everyone is feeling the same burden.

To submit the relocation proposal wasn't easy thing also although for many many times i try to brave my heart to do it, just do it . You have nothing to loose anyway, if this doesn't work at least you have try, but i don't do anything just yet. My husband letter showing that he relocate to Surabaya only scattered in my desk need my big brave action to put it in to massive letter regarding my plan and my willing to relocate.

I just couldn't do it with this level of stress

I'm jus too tired

I'm devastated, i don't know what to do

End

Bloody Hell Resign

Some people emang lebih suka untuk membiarkan orang lain suffer untuk mengamankan posisi mereka. Bekerja di tempat ini aku merasakan benar hal itu, orang orang tidak mau susah bukan karena mereka adalah orang-orang egois, tapi keadaan lah yang membuat mereka berlaku kejam.

They said monster create by other  monster, so true

Dalam interaksi keseharian dengan kolega kolega disini aku tahu betul most of them adalah orang orang baik, cuman karena keadaan dan pressure they change in to selfish, self centered, cari aman dan gak peduli orang. Unless you ask them for help they won't bother if ur face suffer for hand lift.

Hari ini seorang teman yang seharusnya lepas tugas dari sini dari februari lalu mengirimkan sebuah pesan di gtalk meminta tolong untuk memonitor surat pengunduran dirinya sampai dimana prosesnya di MK1, well dengan senang hati aku akan membantunya. To be honest entah ini perasaan dan sikap yg normal atau malah cenderung aneh, aku malah seneng banget kalo ada orang resign dr tempat ini, seneng aja gitu at least mereka bisa punya normal life than trapped in this so called kawah candradimuka.

Dua orang teman sebelumnya yang juga memutuskan resign juga dipenuhi dengan drama, my boss just won't make things like this easy, as long as you can kick your ass from this place bloody hell then surely it will.

Bandung (1-2 Maret 2012)

Last week, i have the opportunity to have a business trip to Bandung with the colleagues, the business trip it self is to conduct a socialization on Government Bond to student. The venue was took place on Faculty Economy, University of Parahyangan, Bandung

We went to Bandung by car at 4pm the day earlier, been an escape from the boring routine. Here some pic i manage to capture from my tablet, not a good one, but hey the most importat thing is to capture the moment and the emotion , agree? yesss agreee^_^

We accomodated in Hotel Ardjuna, at jalan Ciumbeleuit Bandung, the hotel wasnt big but its cozy and clean, the room is big enough for two and the bathroom(the most necesitty in travelling) is clean and brand new. You can find the details on here http://www.theardjunahotels.com/.

Enough for now, see you on the next post. Ciao..

To Err is Human, to Forgive is Define

Just making some human error in the office, and the director seems unhappy with it.

All i need is friend like you

Sometime you just need to find the right person to lift up your mood and raise up your spirit, enlighten your days. Forget about the motivational books they tend to be inaplicable in the real world, but your friends experience is tested and its free, so listen carefully if they share their treasure experience.(Ayudiah)

Time Gone too fast

And suddenly its already the last week of February, time is gone too fast for me, i barely feel, i barely understand what happen. Idon't know when it start, maybe the last two years when the job is got pretty demanding with me doing all the secretarial jobs without any partners (i gone solo from the first time, but the jobdesc is quite wider for the last two years), i always came home terribly exshausted, having no energy to play with the kids. So its also start from two years ago i guess i wake up with the anxious feeling and the burden inside my heart, i don't know the reason as i look inside maybe its too complex, Jakarta, my job,the hectic situation,the pressure,and me being too far from family :(

Luckily now i have two female friend in the office that at least listen to all situation i have-since mostly we dealing with the same burden pressure all day long, over the years then it quite help to have such betsies around.

Tadi aku mo ngomong apa yah?
Sorry the post delayed for professional reason, i have something to be done, ya pokoknya itulah. Akhir akhir ini sering terbangun juga di malam hari cuma untuk memandangi wajah wajah damai my girls which sleep on their slumber. Tempat tidur kecil yang ditempati mereka mulai kependekan, ica udah smakin panjang kakinya begitupun Rania. Ah..they're just too sweet and adorable.

The reason to survive are them - i know it sounds selfish to act like that to bring all those reason why to do this why to do that because of the kids,i know, im kinda sloopy on that, but the truth is beside that's they were always the reason, they also the wisest face i ever seen. Anytime i feel so low , loose confident, loose hope i just turn to their face , seeing so much hope and courage on their face, then i have enough energy again to walk forward.

Oh again, back to the topic, Just a little update that the end of this month hubby might will place on Kerayaan Island, in the southern Kalimantan, a very remote area without-as he said connection ,i guess another burden add. But i will survive.

What happen when you're too old Mom?

Yesterday after step in to the house after hour me and my husband lay a while in the bed just to relieve some tiredness, and as usual my baby kids is wooing us around asking alot of question and we answer with a closing eyes. 30 minutes later after cleans up i prepare Aurasya Galerie order with my husband help with the wrapping while Raisya is watching Disney channel near to us. She ask some brilliant question to me while im cutting the tape



Her: Mom, who will continues this working (she said kerja baju) when you too old to do this your self?

Me: Well, of course that will be you or your sister only if you want it

Her: And what happen when im too old to Mom?

Me: (smiling) then will be your children only if they want it dear.



Ahhh,,,my baby, she's not even 5 but mature enough to understand. Love u Kiddo's.MMUaaacchh^^

In a Deep Affairs with the Ojek Drivers

Imported notes from Facebook:

Called me being so dramatic about my situation in here, but to be honest my relationship with the ojek driver is very much in a dept, chemistric, and so much in mutual understanding. They who happen to be the marginalize urban citizen (most of them only depend on their income as ojek driver), is a hero for me. However having a house in Jakarta which takes at least one hour to reach the finger damned cursed machine make me so much in love and making this affair with the ojek driver became so long lasting (as I live in Cipayung, as long as I work in Lapangan Banteng), so let it be, let the deep affair continue as I let those 20rb for them every morning comparing making a statement in the paper why I’m late (gimme a break , u ask Jakartans why they late, oh please!!)



Its really not an option really to start the day at 5.30 and the catch the bis jemputan which is leaving the pool by 5.45 (two years ago it leaves at 06.10 am, I swear!!), Imagine the hectic and the traffic jam accumulation during 2 years in Jakarta, make me sick and vomit only by imagining the vivid long queau of the cars and vehicle even in the toll road!



Oh, what the title up there..Oh yeah the affair.



Why I said I’m in the deep affair is because I already use this mode of transportation for the last 5 months and from this experience I can say this is the most reliable, on time, and fast vehicle (if u like me, u catch the time every single day), why I did not bring it my self ?errr, I did I did, in this early year I do ride my self, and end up with fainteddddd every night , couldn’t do anything after work just laying down in the bed… so here I am better to have this affair long lasting, in mutual understanding (since I didn’t even said my route the ojek driver will recognize my face, bring the motorcycle to my direction and I came save an sound in time in the office)



Anyway sorry for the scattered idea of the writes, it just slightly cross my mind about this ojek driver, hmmm…anyway I guess they making good income too, one of the ojek drivers said he collect IDR 200rb a day (so its approximately 5-6 million a month) wohoooooo…..so???



Jakarta , my desk, 19-12-2011

Abnormal

Setiap saat mendengar ada ibu rumah tangga normal melakukan pekerjaan normal, perasaan aku langsung gak enak, langsung ingin marah, langsung ingin melempar sesuatu dan menghancurkan sesuatu. In short, emosi jiwa!

Just like this morning the conversation is went this way:
Me : Mbak, tolong rinciannya yah , aku mau transfer agak siangan
Mbaknya: Nanti ya Ayud aku mau anter anakku sekolah dulu trus ngegym, aku kasih rincian agak sore yah
Me:.........................#diem lama, perasaan campur aduk

Is it the only me?? coz it happen a lot T_T.

Indraloka Park

Went to Indraloka park with my besties forever aka my baby girl Raisya n Rania *smooch*, located on Jalan. Mandor Hasan Cipayung Jakarta just figuring it out we takes 5 minutes only by motorcycle to get there. Near!!

We arrive at 2 pm when the sun shine is hot hot hot-not in a good weather to have picnic at park- but my little besties is force (when 5 and 4 years kids force thats mean including yelling and crying and a little bit fake sobbing) me to go there at that time at that day no matter what. So with the sleepy eyes mommy (that would be me) is manage to bring those little enthusiastic girls to the park.

Ordering the strawberry and soursop smoothies and the french fries for the snack, i went browsing while the kids playing them self. The smoothies is excellent, a little bit pricey for the not so famous park, still i will rather the good scene in Cibubur Lake, but that's too far.

When i was browsing and having my snacks, the singer which accompanying the accoustic band is singing Vincent (starry starry night) which been my fave since i was a kid...oh i think that will be another post:)

In a bad mood to write, hiks,here goes some pics of Indraloka park. Enjoy ^_^

Paradox of Life

Imported this notes from my old notes in facebook, i forgot the source, am not writing my self but i found the words are catchy and it hit me in the head and think only a one per million second to nodding my head and said so true...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less
sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a
living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street
to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but
polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write
more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to
rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to
produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just
hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to
speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

i have read this notes like millions of times but never in my condition whatever i feeling in my tops or lowest emotions it gave wrong reaction. It just still the same reaction like shiver in the neck and just look back in to ur life and said he..lets change..we don't have forever..life is too meaningful...

Suatu saat yang bukan sekarang

Old notes i wrote in facebook notes years ago, still i can feel the agony and the desperate feeling of being apart from my daughter, not that i do that in purpose,,,its just the condition is making us having those circumtances, won't again go back again on that conditions inshaallah..too difficult and too burden.

Aurania Sayang…
Assalamualaikum sayang, apa yang kau lakukan hari ini? Apa saja ceritamu buaat Mama hari ini?Mama Kangen Nak,,,kangen sekali, tiba-tiba saja Mama ingin menulis surat buaat kamu karena tampaknya menelponmu bukan ide yang bagus. Telpon Mama ke kamu selalu berakhir dengan kamu mengulum2 hape Yangti atau malah memencet tombol sana-sini hingga telponnya mati. Apa Kabar di hidupmu Nak, sudah brapa gigimu, sudah berapa pot bunga kau pecahkan hari ini, sudah berapa taplak meja kau tarik2 dr meja? Sudah brapa kali kamu tidur hari ini?Sudah berapa botol kau minum susu hari ini..


Sayang,,,sayang…
Ada yang tidak lengkap setiap, ada ruang kosong dalam hati Mama Papa dan pastinya Kakakmu setiap kami berkumpul tanpamu, puluhan akhir pekan tanpa kehadiranmu. Papa sering tiba tiba berkaca-kaca setiap Papa memandang foto kita sekeluarga dulu. Mama tak banyak tahu soal perkembanganmu Nak, maafin Mama y,,memang tampaknya ada hal-hal yang tak mampu kita rubah dan kekerdilan kita sebagai manusia tak mampu mengatasinya.


Setiap ada yang bertanya rania sudah bias apa, mama selalu dengan getir menjawab..Rania sudah besar sudah berlari..tapi mama kehilangan Momen2 itu, dan tiba2 saja kamu sudah sebesar itu..Mama sayang kamu Nak..My truly Princess Rania..We do love you Sayang.. So Much
Membawamu kembali ke Jakarta memang sebuah plihan yang semua orang tawarkan yang tampaknya terbaik ketika dilontarkan, tapi kenyataan membawa mama pulang ke Lumajang berkali-kali tanpa bisa mampu mencerabutmu dari akarmu..Apa betul kalau Mama bawa kamu ke Jakarta kamu bisa tertawa selepas itu?Kamu bisa berlari sekencang dan sebebas itu?Bisa bercanda dengan banyak temanmu semudah itu?Akankah baik untuk emosimu berpisah dari Tante Alia, Yangti Yangkung, dari Mbak Jum yang mencintaimu sebesar itu…apa Mama bisa menggantikan semua itu Sayang??Pertanyaan yang tak menemukan jawabannya hingga detik ini..Hanya kegalauan yang Mama dapat…dan kamu terlalu kecil untuk bias menjawab.


Suatu saat sayang,,suatu hari yang indah disaat Mama sudah bener2 berdiri tegap dengan langkah yang mantap Mama akan datang menjemputmu, di depan pintu kamar Mama dulu mama mengetuk pintumu dan bilang Rania sayang..mari kita pulang. Suatu saat yang bukan sekarang

Dengan Rindu yang teramat sangat

Mama

As i recall back...

Kalau Allah mengijinkan, semester 2 tahun ini kami sekeluarga akan segera pindah ke Malang, for a better life, for better living and environment, for better health for all family members, for the healthier social life...For the sake of goodness

If i recall back years ago, on 2001 when i went to Jakarta after the announcement of STAN , it was excitement, for the first time in my life i wil live away from my parents, a new experience those what i thought. And then 3 years after having the college graduation i was lucky enough to be put in Jakarta (so that what they said , since everyone is avoiding to be put on remote area where all the vertical office located). It was...so was...so old..so yesterday

The feeling of excitement is loosing through many years, Jakarta is too cruel for a mother like me, for a wife like me. I barely breath, i am loosing hope, for most time i feel desperate with the hectic situation. Okay, maybe its not only about Jakata, maybe its just me, my daily life in the office whose taking too much, the life is getting on the toll roads and i couldnt help my self to stop to pull over a while..

Maybe i just should move, to some places where family is always around -or near, when the traffic is not as packed as Jakarta, where the fresh air is free, where my heart is calm enough

Will be turning 30 next year, i really should pay more attention to the health, been on bad condition after the TBC disease 4 years ago..so believe me i know what i'm saying when i say this to you. Your health is more important comparing to those big bucks you have when you work in Jakarta (not that i have millions of salary in here hahaha)..*thats a mental note *

Anyway, should go back to work now, been occupied the time by collecting some photo from the office server so anytime i miss Jakarta (read: the office) all i need is clicking the blog.

Ciao..have a nice day

Cibubur Lake

Last Sunday, me and my daughters Raisya and Rania was having a short picnic at Cibubur lake near home, it very much cheap (err, since i went to the illegal gate at munjul, i didn't pay anything) comparing to the scene you'll see around and the green grass u can run in to, this is my first time went there without hubby. At the morning when ica asking me to bring her there i said like this
Mama: Mama gak terlalu yakin jalannya sayang, kalo nyasar gimana?
Ica: It's ok Mom, kalo nyasar anggap ajah itu jalan jalan
Mama: Ok, sweeety let's go

Alhamdulillah nyampe, meskipun agak takut takut nyasar, bukan apa apa cuaca akhir akhir ini sangat berangin, hujan benar benar diluar perkiraan, takutnya pas masih di jalan tiba tiba hujan belum nemu tempat berteduh, tapi alhamdulillah semua lancar sampai di deket danau Cibuburnya.

I have the rare opportunity to take a little shoots of my kids playing bubles and kite-they were on the bad mood to be shoot at that time.

Surely its my fav place to clear up my head, its pretty secluded since not many visitors- i do always hope its stay the same years to come-coming. In short its perfect choice to have a family picnic^_^

I wasn't born sceptical, i Swear!!

So this is a story of two woman making a friendship in the office. They first met in 2009 when W was a new employee in that place, after almost three years they find that talking skeptically is something that amusing a lot and so liberating, and so HEALING. Well well to be honest I my self not born skeptical , but being in this place, seeing too much hurting things make me realistic to see the world. I really like to documenting some of our conversation. Mostly its end up we giggling each other.
W: I am really on a bad mood, Who do you think I should smack down??
Me: Up to you, you have wide range of choices since most of the people in here is an ass
W: How supperr!!

Last Wednesday it went this way:
W: It’s still 10 am???
Me: Yeah, that’s why they called it Wednesday slowing machine
W: Ha!! What the hell kind of machine is that?
Me: Machine that slowing the time
W: Crapp!!


Before that, she ping me on blackberry just to announce that she got a flu
W: I think I’m gonna have a flu
Me: I think i'm going to be mad
W: You are mad, hahaha

She's an Aries and stubborn i'm capricorn all romantic, actually if we make a friendship it's like a bullying, if you know what i mean, i tend to see things in the romantic, melancholic side but she's otherwise she's the most honest person i ever met haha, straight face (baca: gak suka ya gak suka, enggak ya enggak)

Got lots of pictures to share of us hahaha